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manasia
Vizhenz Unclear
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Posted: Feb 25th, 2008 03:12 AM |
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Get you home tonight
When I first I saw you I was filled with warmth and joy
Never knew you would be the woman to have my first boy
I hoped off the train to your car’s passenger seat
And relaxed my feet
Made up my mind at first sight
This is the woman with whom I want to be
Committed on that day to cruise with you
Dedicated the sacrifice of my life for yours
So that you could live if I needed to
Joy had filled my once my troubled home
I got a reason to live
I was no longer alone
I knew it was gonna be tough
We had just met today
I had to swallow the fantasy
And realize that life has an interesting way
Of changing what we want, when two destinies come into play
Went through the first wave of pain
When I had cursed out your mom
I thought about leaving then
Realized that I wanted to finish and stay head in the game
So I said do, because of the happiness I wanted to share with you
Decisions were made for eternity
For death to us, unto
Life and forever was the vows we exchanged
We were confident in our words
No trepidation no anxiety came
Dipped to South Korea on the low
Had a few issues there and a few fights
Then shortly we learned, we had a bigger reason for life
Learned that we was having Mr. Aden and it changed our life
Packed up to go North Dakota
DC was no longer in our gaze
The Air Force cancelled the request
And sent us on our way
We plowed down in the snow
Shoveling pain as we would go
Stood side by side through the thick and thin
Yet I never realized I was shoveling snow by myself
Without my best friend
Arguments transpired and words were said
Then next thing I know my happiness was dead
As I saw the your license plates from afar
I cried tears of pain and my soul was left a deep scar
How could I know that I was going to be separated from my family
Despite my wrong doings and issues, I fought my hardest to stay with Aden and his mommy
Week one I wrestled with your comments about me
A quitter, a looser, a man who does not know his destiny
I had dreams everyday about Aden Jovan
Woke up in the morning crying tears
Holding my pillow wishing it was you
So I could ease your fears
Despite the changes I was making
And my attempts to break bread
“You change at your convenience, it is not valid”
Is what you said
Week two I the pain was gone and so was the grief
I realize that I am
And not what you told me I could not be
No anger or malice was ever uttered to you
Never once were you called a derogatory name
In all honesty I was praying for you
On my birthday I said to myself
I no longer have the same joy and happiness when I speak your name
When your name is mentioned
There is no joy or pain
But silence like a the sound of an empty house getting beat up by hard rain
I take full responsibility for the decisions I made
Because I know the healing process starts with honesty with me
I have been honest with myself and put away my grief
You were the number one in my life
I had always sung, I wanted to get you home tonight
But those days are gone
And my mind, heart and spirit have moved on
In order for me to heal
I had to let go of you my precious stone
Your actions made you a weight that I could not bear
There was no you or anyway could heal my souls tear
So tonight, my prayer is that we are both honest with ourselves
To prepare to be happily ever after
Not together, in the hole we have delved
My lack of reconciliation came because for the worst two weeks of my life
You never said I am sorry
You never said my bad
You just told me why I displaced myself from dream
Of being a husband and a dad
You are totally forgiven for all things you did to me
No grudges are here, no ill feelings no malice
No animosity
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Bishop
Co-Admin
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Posted: Feb 25th, 2008 03:19 AM |
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| I like his flow!!
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insatiableus
Staff
| Joined: | Jan 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Maryland USA |
| Posts: | 1345 |
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| Mana: |    |
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Posted: Feb 25th, 2008 03:19 AM |
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| I very personal reflection. Thank you for sharing.
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manasia
Vizhenz Unclear
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Posted: Feb 25th, 2008 03:23 AM |
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This poem was a tough one to write but it had to be done, thank yall for reading.
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