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vizhenz
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Posted: Nov 20th, 2005 09:41 AM |
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Can a relationship be 50/50 or is this 50/50 a myth?
Do we compliment our mates? How so?
Is complementing each other really necessary ? Why?
What is your definition of a good relationship? Why?
What about communication, what part do it play and how much?
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kenyatta
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Posted: Nov 22nd, 2005 03:21 AM |
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50/50 IS A MYTH. WHAT HAPPENS IF THE PERSON YOU'RE WITH IS MISSING THE SAME 50% THAT YOU'RE MISSING? YOU STILL DON'T HAVE A WHOLE. ONE MUST COME INTO A RELATIONSHIP WITH 100% OF WHO AND HOW THEY ARE AS A PERSON.
This means that a lot of people are in need of self healing in one form or another in order to come into a relationship as a WHOLE PERSON AS OPPOSED TO DAMAGED GOODS.
WHY SHOULD I OR ANYONE HAVE TO BE A VICTIM OF SOMEONE ELSE'S PAST EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE OR TRAUMA? IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOUR PARTNER OR YOURSELF FOR THAT FACT. I DIDN'T DO IT, I'M NOT THAT PERSON,...SO WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO BE A PART OF OR AN EXTENSION OF THAT ENERGY THAT SHOULD HAVE DIED WHEN THAT PAST RELATIONSHIP DIED?
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vizhenz
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Posted: Nov 26th, 2005 04:34 AM |
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well I dont think it is such a thing of a good relationship or a 50/50 pull....
what i do believe in is you work together to make a whole sort of speak...the bond is only as you make it...if it is weak at the beginning it will be weak throughout the relationship
far as the baggage we all have it after all we are human... if you love that person enough you will help them heal...
communication plays a big role in any relationship... if you don't have one you have nothing...most the time it is one who is more open with conversation then the other...
I feel you should be able to talk to that person, with out them lashing out at things you talk to them about or they throw it back in your face...they can vent and you can't or they can express what they feel but you can't or it is always the wrong time when you need to vent or just need conversation no matter how un-important it is....
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alkebulan
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Posted: Dec 24th, 2005 12:02 AM |
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1 viewpoint: 50 50 will work up until 1 too many decisions hv 2 b put off or overly compromised b/c there is no agreement on som issue. there may b som couples who can make the 50 50 thang work, but i don't personally subscribe 2 that theory. ultimately, som1 has 2b n charge. 1 of the problems is, too many males think being n charge means they get 2 hv things their way all or most of the time. i know of what i speak, i used 2b that way myself.
define a good relationship. hmmmmmm, that's a tough 1. i'll list a few qualities i think r essential. 1. honesty - 4 me at least, this is where it all starts. f u give me reason 2 ? ur veracity, there's no hope. honesty is the foundation of any relationship. 2. unselfishness - each person lookin out 4 #1 (themselves) is the perfect formula 4 a brief stint of interaction. once that's known, it's ova. 3. humility - @ least 1 member of the team will need 2 hv som humility, or there will b a battle of the ego's n short order. 4. empathy - the ability 2 c things from the other person's perspective is invaluable n prolonging relationships.
4 sho, there r many other qualities i could mention, but this at least gets me started.
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MrSnap
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Posted: Dec 24th, 2005 02:44 AM |
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alkebulan wrote: define a good relationship. hmmmmmm, that's a tough 1. i'll list a few qualities i think r essential. 1. honesty - 4 me at least, this is where it all starts. f u give me reason 2 ? ur veracity, there's no hope. honesty is the foundation of any relationship. 2. unselfishness - each person lookin out 4 #1 (themselves) is the perfect formula 4 a brief stint of interaction. once that's known, it's ova. 3. humility - @ least 1 member of the team will need 2 hv som humility, or there will b a battle of the ego's n short order. 4. empathy - the ability 2 c things from the other person's perspective is invaluable n prolonging relationships.
I would like agree wit you, Alkebulan.
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Amira
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Posted: Jan 27th, 2006 04:09 PM |
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| To me a good relationship , comes from being a good friend. When you need help , you call your friend, when you are sad you talk to your friend, and I say ths because my soul mate is my friend, and i have blessed him out and he have done the same to me...and I given him encouragement on the things he want to do in life, and he have done the same to me, It will never be 50/50 I have strong and weak point and he do to, and where we both are weak we become strong together, So he is my best friend, my lover, my husband, and the father of our children Last edited on Jan 27th, 2006 04:49 PM by Amira
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Caramelpython
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Posted: Mar 10th, 2006 12:54 AM |
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50/50? No i don't even believe in the 50/50 deal because it walays seem one side is always stronger thn the other side and there is no problem with that because the other side makes up 4 it usually in other aspects od the reladionship. I think it's a 60/40 deal and the 60/40 changes up from time to time.
A good relationshit is based on respect and the willing to bend in order to keep the other happy at times. If u want to get some u have to give some. U cant stay in your comfort zone 24/7 you have to venture out to meke things work.
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Queenbee163
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Posted: Mar 10th, 2006 11:35 PM |
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A Good Relationships Requires Trust, Honesty, and Compromise. It Doesn't Always Have to Be 50/50 - But Each Person Should Be Doing There Part to Contribute to the Relationship In Order to Make it Work. In a Good Relationship - Two people Should Complete Each Other - Which Means That it Will Definitely Take Some Compromise From Both Parts.
Now I Say Compromise - But Not Sacrifice. When I Think of the Word Sacrifice - I Think of It As Being A Struggle to Do Something. But When You Are In a Healthy Relationship - What You Do For the Other Person Should Come Naturally and Never Feel Like Your Pushing and Coaxing Yourself to Do Something or to Feel a Certain Way.
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Euphrates
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Posted: May 21st, 2006 06:44 AM |
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yea I agee with a couple of you all 50/50 is straight bullshit/ but you can get pretty close to it if its just ((you two involved!!)) what I mean by that is everything between yall two stays between yall two...when people start getting in your business/ shit starts falling apart!!!! Everybody wants the perfect relationship but during hard times they want to be able to talk bad about their partner but not let anyone else talk bad about their partner after they are the ones that said the bad things about their partner!!!..................kinda funny!!!...............Most of my friendships or relationships went bad when other people start coming in the picture....truly man...I know everybody needs somebody to talk too but if its not a shrink or best friend/ I highly recommend it not be a friend cause then when you get mad at that friend he or she will bring that shit right back up in your face to have an edge on you....its happen to me before people so I can only speak what I know.......I feel like I've had some potential relationships that could had been bright but hey, once Susy, Pooky, Ruby, Huey, luey, and every other name that ryhymes with those names gets in in your business than its hard to keep a solid foundation and I am not the type of person that can deal with that/
I myself don't know the meaning of a good relationship/ I know the meaning of a soul mate/ and a soul mate will piss you off one day and love you the next/ will make you want to kill em one day and make you want to sex em down the next/ make you cry one day and make you laugh the next/ .......................(((basically a soul mate is that perfect imperfect person that everyone is hunting for)))....you feel me.....
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Dymon J
Staff
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Posted: May 22nd, 2006 01:44 AM |
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50/50 is definitely a myth. At some point someone will want to be in full control of the relationship. It’s either their way, or no way. They won’t be open to suggestions or opinions from their significant other. On top of that, support is expected to be given regardless of how the other feels about it.
Yes I would compliment my mate. It is based on how I feel about my mate, and what she is/means to me. I would do so by making it known to her how appreciative I am of her and what she does/means to me. Instances like that in itself to me is a compliment.
Is complementing necessary? It depends on the person. Because if that person has insecurities about anything (no matter how small or big), not only would it be necessary, it might end up being a requirement. NOTHING in a relationship should be a requirement.
A good relationship is when 2 people can be on common ground, and be able to compromise even when they’re not. Of course there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, but if they are willing to hear each other out, and come to a mutual understanding, then the relationship would be better than good.
Communication is a key and MAJOR part of the relationship. It ties in with complementing, and what defines a good relationship. Both parties have to be open to this factor unconditionally. If you’re doing it because you feel you have to, or you don’t wanna hear him/her “bitching and complaining” then the relationship won’t have a chance.
Last edited on May 22nd, 2006 01:47 AM by Dymon J
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