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Bostonlady
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| Joined: | Feb 22nd, 2006 |
| Location: | Boston |
| Posts: | 77 |
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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2006 04:14 PM |
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I had an interesting discussion this weekend and its been rolling
around in my thoughts, 2 men told me that regardless of how happy a
man is in his relationship/marriage if the opportunity arises he will
cheat, in his words there is nothing better than new pussy!
I subscribe to the fact that I think cheating in of itself is not
just about sex, I think people cheat, regardless of their sex,
becuase they no longer feel valued, special or loved in the same way
by their partner and tend to look outside for what they got at home.
These 2 men had totally different backgrounds and ages, one age 30
and one age 49. They both agreed that regardless of how happy he is
with you, if its offered to him and he feels he can get away with it,
he will go for it. I know that men, moreso than women, not all but
on the general tip, can seperate sex from emotion. Women, tend to
cheat becuase another man is giving her the affection she needs,
while a man cheats because of the attention another woman gives him.
I would like to believe that if I love you and meet your needs in and
out the bedroom, that there are men that have the same values as I
do. Yet, I was told I'm in a fantasy. For the most part, cheating
is something that will kill a relationship cold, you can try to
forgive but seldom do we forget and anything that comes up that
reminds up of that betrayal and pain will be thrown in the offenders
face. Now, I must say this, if you say you forgive them, you have to
let it go or you will both just go in circles and keep wasting more
time until ultimately its just over. No one can exist with that
pressure.
So, I ask you, if you were to cheat, what would make you do it? If
your in a relationship and your happy would you still go for it? Do
you believe there is a distinct difference between a one night stand
and an ongoing affair? And lastly, what is your definition of
cheating? In this new age of technology, does sharing your sexual
appetite or scenarios with someone other than your partner via email,
texting, etc mean they are cheating?
For me, anything that goes beyond fantasy is cheating. I know that
statement is harsh for some. But, relationships can be complicated
on their own by the people involved to add additional stuff is not a
good thing. I look at it this way, I am depositing my emotions in
your bank and you in mine, therefore anytime you take those thoughts
or feelings and deposit them in another your taking away from us and
we are not getting the compounded daily interest we need in order to
grow. I guess what it boils down to is communication, if I'm telling
you I love you and I need this or I'm not getting that and you don't
listen to me or just take me and the relationship for granted, then
that would leave the door open, however personally if I'm getting to
that point, I'm just going to leave, because if I'm in love with you,
no one is going to even get my attention or interest, and if they do,
then our relationship isn't working.
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insatiableus
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| Joined: | Jan 13th, 2006 |
| Location: | Maryland USA |
| Posts: | 1345 |
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Posted: Feb 22nd, 2006 05:37 PM |
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| thank you Ms. Lady, You know that I'm anxious to read the replies. Personally, I believe in love and the state of being in love. I would hope that if I'm every woman for my man than he would have no reason to stray.
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$$RICH$$
Vizhenz Supporter
| Joined: | Jan 12th, 2006 |
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| Posts: | 105 |
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Posted: Mar 13th, 2006 09:10 AM |
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Surely cheating has it's place that dems the mind thinking
many push past the fantasy of reasons from the lust
I'm one who look beyond lust for the beauty of the soul
and become loyal to thy mate , often flirtation comes but
to love and honor thy Queen keeps me from harm of cheating.
All men don't cheat as well women we can find some faithful
bruthas and sistas who know how to keep friendship and not
cross the line.
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Euphrates
Under 100 Club
| Joined: | Apr 20th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 54 |
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Posted: May 21st, 2006 06:17 AM |
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that is real good question man/ I really think it has to do with the individual's background more so but it also has to do with how much that person is thinking of themself/ I mean every humans think of themself 99% of the time and if it doesn't benefit them, than the hell with it and in the case of being in a relationship you are forced to think of someone else as much as you think of yourself so if you are married you have agreed that you have FULL UNDERSTANDING that you, ( yourself ) is not number one now/ rather you ar splitting yourself to share with another individual/ If you are thinking about your partner more than yourself and is able to get past lust than I don't think cheating will be a problem but men should not be in a relationship and don't cheat because (they think that it is wrong.) cause in that case they are not cheating because they don't want to/ they are not cheating cause they don't want to hurt their wife's feelings....that's not a good reason.......cause that means they still lust....I really believe that a man can be in a relationship and not cheat......but it depends on what frame of mind he is in man/ cause if women are too nice than niggas cheat cause they try to get their cake and eat it too and if the female ain't giving enough than they cheat because they ain't getting enough/ I mean its very hard.....I am an introverted person so if I was with someone that satisfied all my sexual needs than I wouldn't budge a muscle to cheat....trust me...not one muscle!!!!!!!!!! but past relationships I was in or hook ups..what ever you want to call them, I cheated like a dog in heat because if you are too nice females try to take advantage of that and I would notice their plot and just start fishing for the next chick, so while their thinking they got shit on wrap, their friend is sitting in the cut and thinking/ look at this dumb ***** thinking she got him on lock and he just f*** me last night!!!!.....I was very sneaky...not to be a player but because of trust and if you don't have trust than you have nothing!!!!!!!!
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If I would had known that "Life" was this (Hard)/
I would had asked "him" for his (work out program) when I was born/
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vizhenz
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Posted: May 21st, 2006 10:55 AM |
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I dont think all men cheat. You can ask the same question about women...do all women cheat?
Is it possible for men and women to be friends? Do you believe men and women can only be friends?
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Euphrates
Under 100 Club
| Joined: | Apr 20th, 2006 |
| Location: | Pennsylvania USA |
| Posts: | 54 |
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Posted: Jun 14th, 2006 10:15 PM |
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| definitely!! a man and a woman can be friends/ a man and a woman can be best friends!! yet that comes with understanding and control and just trust and genuiness/...( all which are hard to find!!)..... I am just as cool with females who are friends as I am with guys...hell actually, my grandmother is one of my best friends, if not number one!!!...( but that's dealing with family!!)...but back to the topic/ yea the females who are my friends are fine as hell!! but I've never made a move on them and they know I think they are fine as hell/ shit, I tell them!! but I have had crazy opportunities to do stuff and has never done nothing and won't do anything and they know I won't either!!......unless we are involved...once you become good friends/ its more than ass and hips or breast and lips...its alot more man...for real.........
____________________
If I would had known that "Life" was this (Hard)/
I would had asked "him" for his (work out program) when I was born/
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