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MrSnap
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Posted: Apr 25th, 2006 07:26 PM |
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| I was jes wondering, during the course of a relationship or friendship, where someone does you wrong (intentional or unintentionally), are you the easy forgiving type or do you hold a grudge and try to get them back?...
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insatiableus
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Posted: Apr 25th, 2006 08:34 PM |
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| I am a forgiving person by nature. I want people to treat me the way I treat them. I think forgiveness is devine. That does not mean that I'll put up with crap or a person can walk all over me. Everyone deserves a second chance. Relationships take work and are not to be taken for granted. Friendships are relationships.
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vizhenz
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Posted: Apr 25th, 2006 11:00 PM |
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I am a very forgiving person. But if I see that a person is still pulling on the past, I am one who will just stay away as well to avoid negative energy of others. You have those that will take advantage of you just because you are nice or forgiving.
But you also must look at the ones who don’t know they are doing something wrong to you as well. Try talking to them try and get an understanding where they are coming from. Sometimes stress leads people as well as anger, we as humans do take out our anger on other people who have done nothing wrong. You have to look at the situation and use your best judgment.
Hell you can’t please everybody all the time…sometimes you just got to please yourself. Do what is best for you. Forgiving comes from the heart and if that is who you are don’t change for anyone.
I believe friendship is just as hard as a relationship. Keeping the lines of communication open is important but if you are the only one keeping them open or trying to keep them open then maybe you should just let it go and let God. He knows what is best for you and sometimes what we think is best for us is not in His plans for us.
Then you have to look at it maybe that person feel they are right. Maybe they think they can not be wrong in any situations. And maybe you are just wasting your time and breath trying to get through to that person…Just be you and be happy with any choice you make.
Viz
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alkebulan
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Posted: Apr 26th, 2006 04:22 PM |
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u've posed a good ? BigDrizz
we all like 2 consider ourselves 4giving individuals b/c thats considered a positive attribute & makes us "godlike" - 2 4give is devine, & all that. but n truth, i don't c a gr8 deal of 4givness n the society i liv & work n on a dailey basis.
still, @ least 4 me, it's somwhat abstract 2 talk of 4givness w/o knowing the level of infraction involved, & the intentional vs. unintentional can also make a huge difference. 4 example, can infidelity ever b unintentional? (other than rape, which i don't consider an instance of infidelity on the victims part)
so, the 1st thing i would look @ is, how egregious is the incident? is there a level of mendacity involved? also, the persons disposition can b significant - hv they owned up 2 the error, f it was an error, or, r they fairly cavalier about the effect their actions hv had on me ?
xcusing minor annoyances can & does occur routinely, the real challenge presents when the trust u hv in someone is called n2 question, or a confidence u valued is betrayed. 4givness n these situations can pose a real challenge. i've said all that 2 say, my answer 2 ur ? is mixed: n minor matters, sure, as long as u don't make a habit of it, i can b 4giving. but n matters of the heart or where strong emotions r involved, i'm not going 2 try & get even f there's been a relationship established, but i'm unlikely 2 4giv unwarrented venality. 
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insatiableus
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Posted: Apr 26th, 2006 05:05 PM |
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| Very nice to have a mans imput. I would really like to hear from more men on this issue. I believe it is very important. I'm very glad Drizz posed to question and opened this thread.
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beautifulbrown
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| Joined: | May 30th, 2006 |
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Posted: Jun 1st, 2006 05:48 PM |
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| Holding a grudge only tears down a relationship. I don't have the energy to do that....anymore. With maturity comes forgiveness.
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Dymon J
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Posted: Jun 1st, 2006 06:03 PM |
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| It's funny this question is out there. Because I hardly ever had the chance to forgive anyone. And if it did come up, it depended on the situation. But the one thing I was told to do (and it hasn't backfired yet, knock on wood), is "forgive, but never forget". But nowadays I'm wondering if that would be the same as holding a grudge. Because I'm in a position now with my ex that I don't do things for her that I used to do from a friendship level as a result of being burned. I would forgive her (whenever and if ever she would apologize for her actions), but i wouldn't forget for the next time around. I don't know. Maybe I'm the one confused becasue of the hurt and stress I had to endure with the relationship. But to answer the question, yes I was. Now, I'm not sure. Last edited on Jun 2nd, 2006 01:06 AM by Dymon J
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MzFlyyDreadz
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Posted: Jun 7th, 2006 07:46 PM |
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I am very forgiving....as far as trying to get them back that's a no no for me. I forgive people so I can move on with life....I think if you hold a grudge and keep things bottled up, that can cause stress and ummm... as the saying goes.....I am too blessed to be stressed. Can U dig it?
~Flyy
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eboni_goddess
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Posted: Jun 10th, 2006 08:13 PM |
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I agree with so many points that've been brought up here. But if I had to state a position, I would definitely say that I'm a forgiving person. When you hold grudges, you don't grow. It's hard to see how that experience helped to shape your life. And that's not to say that I automatically forgive. It can sometimes be a process. Moreover, I do think it's wise not to forget. You don't want to find yourself in a similar situation months later. The bottom line is that no one person is the same way all the time and through every situation. But my nature is that I forgive...whether it be sooner or later. It's freeing, it's empowering and it allows you to become the person you are meant to be. Life has too much to offer for me to be hung up on what someone did to me way back when. So, I say "forgive...yes, forget...absolutely not".
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Euphrates
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Posted: Jun 14th, 2006 10:21 PM |
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| It's extrmemly hard for me to forgive/ but I manage to do so yet, I become tense around the person though so its kinda like it's better off just fading away..you know....when u get hurt it doesn't feel good, that's all I got to say.....whether its by your job, your family, your boy, or your girl or somebody you just know off hand...it just doesn't feel good.......I tend to stay away from people who I feel are trying to hurt me.........
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jaxx1108
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Posted: Aug 26th, 2007 07:15 PM |
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I continue to work on forgiving others, and I take it day by day!
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